Soul Cry

The physical act of writing is one that offered me solice on many occasions. For some reason this time around when I need to put my two cents out into the universe, I've decided to blog about it. Maybe I'll end up with some valuable feedback, who knows...

As of late I have been learning more about myself as a person and haven't yet come to terms with my discoveries. Now for anyone who has been following the site, it probably seems as if I'm a hopeless romantic. I mean even I thought I was but now I'm not so sure, maybe?

I have realized that I have come to view the canons and tenants of love as weakness. What is love but a complex concoction of hormones? What is intimacy but a figment of our imaginations? Sex but a biological means to propagate? Get my point? I just can't seem to convince myself that any of it is really necessary. Maybe this is all just my version of self preservation, you know like avoiding pain and heartache. I have no clue.

What I do know is that you cannot miss what you did not have. Seems fair enough considering all the rumors about this love thing and what it can do to people. We have all heard "love makes you do crazy things" and "love hurts" just to throw out a few examples. Wars have even be waged in the name of this love. I rather save myself the trouble if this is the case.

Maybe this makes no sense at all. Maybe I'm just lashing out with displaced anger and frustration. Yea, that's it! I would love to succeed at becoming a doctor that its tearing me down, slowly killing me in the process. But if this is true, then I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Make all the necessary sacrifices and everything. All in the name of my love, right?

Passion so wild, bleeding so free,
Let the crazy Voodoo child be.
Possessed by a racing heart
Life's her bacchanal, her fresh start...

Poor Pigs

Let's take a second to evaluate the topic of the moment, shall we? The Swine flu is a strain of the flu virus that is normally found in swine a.k.a pigs. Contrary to what many may believe, it is not a new entity and has in fact been around since about 1918 when pigs first got sick at the same time at which many humans got sick. Kind of mind blowing, right? Especially when considering the ridiculous reactions some are having to the new 2009 outbreak.

What the masses fail to realize is that all flu viruses can kill if left untreated in certain situations. That cough, runny nose, and fever you had two-three months ago could have been the end for you if it wasn't for a highly developed immune system and the luxury of cold & flu medications. Just because Mexico has the highest amount of confirmed cases as well as the highest death toll doesn't really mean anything! Mexico is a third world country last time I checked, not like they are rolling in Super Power capitol, you know. Thus most of its citizens are too poor, uneducated, or malnourished in some way, shape, or form to properly combat the famed Swine Flu. Ergo, all those people blaming or avoiding Mexicans are just plain stupid. Not to mention all the pig slaughtering going on! Next time your child gets sick with a cold or fever, do me a favor and slaughter them because I don't want to miss a few days of work, thanks! All of the bulletins issued by the WHO and CDC are just to raise awareness and categorize this event for further reference. We should all think of it as advanced planning when the history books are written, wouldn't want all the facts out of order now would we?

The bottom line is that the Swine Flu :

1) is not transmitted through food...pork is still the other white meat

2) will most likely not kill you if you have contracted it

3) behaves like the flu that we are all used to

And last but not least, in fact MOST importantly

4) infection CAN be prevented if we all just wash our hands frequently, use alcohol based hand sanitizers, cover our mouths when we cough or sneeze...basically, if we all practice proper hygiene and stop walking around like we weren't all raised with enough sense to not be filty, nasty ass people then there is nothing to worry about!

So please, hold on to your heads World, its not the end just yet and when it is I'll be sure to give my scientific input then too. Until then, I'll leave you with food for thought I came acorss on Twitter, "90 people get the swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom...."

A look back

I know I haven't been the best blogger ever since I started "The BulletProof Diaries" and there is no excuse for that. However, such is life and I had a mildly stressful week so, please, bare with me.

Ever notice how frustration an anger can be converted into equally powerful and productive energies? Everything from art to literature to exercise can be done under the influence of these energies. Ergo, while feeling a bit upset over a series of events beyond the scope of this post a light bulb went off in my brain. I remembered an old poetry project that I had begun some years ago. All I did was collect poems by friends and family as well as notable authors and anonymous internet bloggers and began to compile them into a notebook titled "Paradox of Paradise". Somewhere between the pages I added in work of my own along with thought provoking quotes and pictures of medieval torture instruments/techniques. I know it sounds a bit disturbing but the whole thing put together is quite nice...

Here is the introduction to the book along with an excerpt of a poem (complete with exact image) I contributed to the collection:

Dear Reader,

The following collection of poems is one I personally assembled with the assistance of the those closest to me. I kindly advise that this collection is not for the squeamish or highly sensitive. Poems of all sorts: love, anger, sorrow, remorse, etc.- lie within the pages of this book in an effort to capture the beauty of words and are accompanied by diepictions that may be considered offensive. However, I do advise that when reading the lovely sentiments and raw emotion of these works, that you keep in mind that all the depictions were chosen for their symbolic and metaphoric meaning. I ask you to take these meanings and store them in the back of your mind while reading to provide the best possible experience. For my mission in combining words with images here is to provide perspective into the darkest areas of the soul where one may often feel lost and abandoned. Everyone has had the experience in which they have felt utterly alone whether it being within positive or negative aspects and the words written to form these poems, in many cases, are outlets of these emotions as they are written from ordinary people just like you and I. Occasionally, you will encounter the work of the more famous poet but they were people nonetheless. I hope you enjoy the collection for I have invested a great deal of time in copying and assembling these pages and I ask that you respect the views of those poets who contributed their works to the collection.

"Variations on a "This is Just to Say" by Williams Carlos Williams"

I amputated your limbs
when you were
asleep, last night
around midnight

You were probably
intending to
jog at sunrise,

Forgive me, but
the knife was so
sharp and you
looked so peaceful

To think that this was all created when I was just 15-17 years old, strange isn't it? Am I an emotional person? You decide...

Ever Wonder...?

Why don't some people appreciate life as they should? The slightest acknowledgment of a flower, bird, smile, or frown would do...

A Fly on the ® Train

Buzzing down Fifth Avenue, a fine day for flight
Circling Central Park, street vendors all about
I take a detour, a path less trodden
The subway line, letter ® for revive, relive, and return
My trip home hopefully a leisure one
Next to beings of ignorant bliss and petty pleasures

As the fly, I paused in my path to board the train,
The hollow heralding of a bell hums,
No movement, I just rest…
A station is reached revealing a crowded platform
Someone steps in not noticing me
My life is ended leaving my carcass cold

My death disrupted life’s natural balance within the train;
A lady next to my body frets about, agitated with thought
Shifting and adjusting as if made of plastic
My soul watches, standing by, did she not bare witness
To the arrival of the beast, manunkind?
My fly carcass on the floor beside her, rotates torn in two

I wondered how humans think and feel
What is normal and what is not
Questions that I will never know the answers to
Another stop on the subway line is reached
Like all things dead and gone I must leave existence
Bidding my fly carcass farewell